Forming, Storming, Norming,
and Performing
In
Part 1, we looked at the house church as the standard for fellowship in the
first century. We saw that these
meetings were dynamic and interactive: all members participated, gifts were exercised,
and Christ was central. Fueled by the
Holy Spirit, the local body of Christ, the house church, developed and grew
organically. We suggested also that
house churches were an excellent venue for fellowship in our time, especially
for those who preferred not to join a traditional church. We saw that starting a house church is as
easy as inviting people over for a meal.
However, keeping it going can be a challenge. In this article, we will look at how to maintain
the house church as it grows and develops.
In
1965, Bruce Tuckman proposed a view of group development called the Forming-Storming-Norming-Performing
model. It turns out that it is remarkably
applicable to house churches. Understanding
this model, and knowing beforehand some of the crisis points, will aid in
helping the house church deal with them effectively.
In
the Forming phase, people are on
their best behavior. There is excitement
about the new house church. No one wants
to rock the boat. Everyone is trying to
understand where they fit in and what the group’s objectives are. They rarely vocalize disagreement. Politeness and manners tend to rule, but
commitment is minimal. People generally
adopt a “wait and see” position.
In
the Storming phase, conflicts begin
to arise. Who is leading? What is the agenda? Whose house will we meet in next week? Will there be singing? What about bible study? This phase is uncomfortable but is necessary
for growth. Clear and honest communication
is required if the house church will continue to grow. Stifling discussion or not airing issues will
only ensure they will return later with greater severity. It is critical to work through problems as a
group and make sure everyone is heard.
Conflict should be seen as positive--an opportunity for greater
understanding and growth.
If
the house church survives the Storming phase, it is in good shape and will
enter the Norming phase. Roles are better understood. Trust is increasing. Rules and goals are agreed upon. There is good participation from all
members. Sometimes, however, “over-norming” can occur,
where the rules are very rigid and dissent is frowned upon. This will stifle
creativity and take the joy out of the meetings. If one person tends to control the meetings,
then perhaps suggest a rotating facilitator.
If some members seem reluctant to speak, encourage them.
Another
danger in the Norming phase is “group-think”.
In groupthink, the members are focused on harmony above all else. They all want happy, joyous meetings and see
conflict as bad. The problem, however,
is that issues are ignored. No one wants
to be the spoiler. Therefore, the group
merrily drifts down the river in their happy boat, not realizing there are
rocks approaching. The person that did
see the rocks did not want to interrupt the joyful party! In the Norming phase, we still need to talk
about issues and address conflict if the group is to remain healthy.
In
the Performing phase, the house church
has reached a high level of trust and intimacy.
The members truly enjoy each other’s company in the presence of the Lord,
and are interdependent.
There is a high degree of creativity and energy. Each member’s gifts are recognized and
exercised for the building up of the body of Christ. Principled, agape
love is prevalent. God is
glorified in the midst of His people.
The house church has arrived at spiritual harmony.
However,
the journey does not end here. A change
in membership, goals, or circumstances can cause the house church to revert to
earlier phases. For example, a new
couple may join and the house church will need to spend some time getting to
know them and vice versa. We may regress
to the Forming phase for a while. However,
the group has already experienced passing through the various phases of growth and
so can demonstrate patience, knowing the way forward is sure.
As
the house church traverses these phases of growth, there will be times when
conflicts will arise. Questions of leadership
are common. Some members may have
different backgrounds than others and feel strongly about certain doctrines or
practices. Some like modern worship
songs, others like the traditional songs, and some do not like singing at all. Some people like to laugh and experience the
joy of the Lord; others think Christianity is a very serious business. How can a house church deal with such conflicts
in a constructive way?
The
bible offers many good suggestions.
Jesus said Christians will be known by
the love they have for each other (John 13:35). The Greek word is agape, meaning a
principled love, a love that
puts the other person’s interest ahead of our own. This may mean tolerating someone’s personal
view even if we do not agree with it. In
Part 1, we suggested that a guiding principle should be, In
Essentials Unity, in Non-Essentials Freedom, and in All Things Love.
Allowing freedom in non-essentials takes patience, tact, and an
empathetic heart that has a desire to truly understand the other person. All of us need to continually work on this
skill.
The
area of communication is paramount. Much
of society today is very political.
People do not say what they mean or mean what they say. Many politicians and business leaders habitually
lie and manipulate the public.
Christians must not be like this.
We are to let our yes mean yes,
and our no mean no (Matthew 5:37).
We are to hold truth close to our hearts (John 8:32). In practice, this means that we are to be
clear and forthright in our communications with our brethren. In fact, Jesus warns that anything beyond
this is “from the evil one.” There is no place for political, manipulative
behavior among God’s people. We must
speak truth from the heart.
To
work through conflict constructively, Christians need to forgive one another;
be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32); accept one another
(Romans 15:7); bear with one another (Ephesians 4:2); encourage and comfort one
another (Hebrews 3:13, 1 Thes. 4:18); and pray for each other (James
5:16). We should consider others as superior
to us, and be willing to take a lesser role if it means others will benefit (Phil
2:3). We
need to keep our Lord Jesus in mind. He was
not above washing His disciples’ feet, or hanging on a cross in agony for them. We must follow His example.
In
summary, a typical house church will go through four stages of growth. As the church develops, conflicts will
invariably arise. This is normal. Rather than stifling it, we should see
conflict as an opportunity for greater understanding—a challenge to be overcome. By clearly communicating with agape love, empathy,
honesty, and a thorough dose of “one-anothering”, we will get through these
crisis points and learn from them. Our
house church will grow and bear fruit, to the glory
of the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
(To be continued.)
G. Coulson