We are approaching the time of year when we all give thanks to God, thanks for the blessings that he gives us. We give thanks for the gift of our Lord Jesus, as we honor his birth here on earth. This is the season when we seek to honor God for all temporal gifts and as well as giving us our spiritual life through his son.
Perhaps we don't think of the word `honor' when we celebrate the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays but honor is the central theme. This forgotten word, at least forgotten in practice, is the foundation of a Godly marriage. Honor by definition implies some very important actions:
- To actively seek another's good name or public esteem
- To regard or treat with respect
- To consider someone or something as specially uncommon
- To live up to, or fulfill, the terms of an agreement
When we consider these definitions in our marriages, are we impressed with our efforts? Or perhaps the first thought that comes to our minds is, "I wish my spouse would apply honor to me!" Far too often, this thought is indeed the truth in most failing or failed marriages. This selfishness is a completely opposite attitude seen in good marriages where honor is the basis of success, joy, and fulfillment.
Why is showing honor towards your spouse so important? Because it echoes Jesus attitude and actions on our behalf. After all, didn't he leave his glorious realm in heaven to honor his father's wishes, paving the way for man's redemption, and show us what integrity of character is all about. He denied his personal desires for the sole purpose of being pleasing to his father. He actively showed his concern for all he came into contact with as better than himself (Phillipians 2:3-8); he showed us that we can be happy by giving of ourselves to others.
Philippians 2:3-5: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
Now if we really believe that Jesus is our Savior and Lord, we will be strivingby his power to consider our spouse's well being and happiness as more important than our own. This certainly is a crazy idea in the face today's 'me first' attitude. But be warned that striking out prayerfully will most often bring about improvements and even enjoyment and laughter again with your mate, even though it could get worse before it gets better. The key to achieving good marital relations is:
Here are some examples for husbands:
- If your wife needs quality time, go alone together to a park and listen carefully as she explains how her day made her feel. Look into her eyes and be slow to offer advice unless asked for. Don't minimize her feelings.
- If she likes gifts, surprise her every couple of weeks with a card and/or a small meaningful gift.
- Take out the garbage without her having to ask you. Put the bag back in the can.
- Treat her to a wonderfully romantic evening, and go to bed just to sleep. The idea is not to expect anything in return, right?
- Give her a warm, gentle hug every day.
- Thank her for making dinner.
- Take the children for the evening and have her go out with a friend or two.
- Ask her if there is anything you can do to help when she is looking a little frazzled.
- Put the toilet seat down!
- Pray daily for your relationship with her. Ask God for insight to be a better spouse to her.
Here are some examples for Wives:
- Thank him for taking care of the bills or other household jobs he has done.
- Give him a warm, gentle hug every day.
- Make sure he has a little time for himself during the day.
- NEVER correct him in public, as you would a child.
- Tell him that you love him and that you appreciate him every day.
- Leave him little love notes in different places all over the house.
- Don't try to change him yourself! Let God make the changes and accept him as the way is.
- Pray daily for your relationship with him. Ask God help to be a better spouse to him.
Honor boils down to simply to one thing; a decision that your spouse is more important than you are. The Bible is filled with examples and exhortations of putting our personal interests last. Gayle Sayers, a famous professional football player wrote a book a couple decades ago entitled “I am third.” In it he describes how he chooses to honor people in life by the phrase:
God is First.
My family is second.
I am third.
What will your decision be in this season of thanksgiving? Will it be me, myself, and I? Or will it be Jesus first, my family second, yourself third? The choice is yours, but understand with certainty that as a disciple of Jesus, there is only one correct choice to make.
Joshua 24:14-15: "Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods ... and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, ... But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."
- Andy Weeks
"The only condition for loving....is to love without conditions.”
© 2006 Christian Millennial Fellowship
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