Daddy's Girl

In order for a father to cultivate a Godly relationship with his daughter he must confess that he is completely inadequate to the task of rearing children. He needs to ask for God's enlightenment from his living witnesses and God's word. The effort to improve the relationship must come from the father, for the daughter is almost always waiting for dad to make that first step. The father holds all the power since it is he that holds the jewel that his daughter longingly seeks to adorn herself with. A jewel she will show off to any who express even remote interest. How can fathers do this? The first step is a simple yet extremely hard decision to make, and even harder to live up to. A father must decide to believe that his daughter is more important than any activity in his day other than prayer and meditation upon his heavenly father's word. Once this state of mind solidifies, action will become easy when his little girl asks to spend some time with him. You might not be able to imagine the delight of a little girl when her daddy drops what he is grossly involved in just to have a tea party with her. I notice a very dramatic change in my daughter's demeanor when I help her set up the saucers and tea cups. I also see the instant degradation of her spirit when I have a “need to finish this now” attitude. I know that most fathers would never play tea party, because many men laugh and playfully ridicule me when I tell them about this scene. Their laughter has no impact on me, because I know that I will be long forgotten by them when my little girl recalls the experience when she is grown. I know that when she dances with me as her prince, she will someday walk over to me and hug me. She may not recall a reason to do so, but will, just because she knows that I love her with all my heart.

Perhaps the most obvious, yet most overlooked, way for a dad to win his daughter's heart is just to look into her eyes and tell her that he loves her. Men may never understand how this simple and sincere action stills any stormy waters in her heart, but it happens. It seems those three words are the most powerful that daddy's little girl will ever hear. It will give her the confidence to face many of life's challenges because if 'my daddy believes in me, then I can overcome this present obstacle.' Be sure to tell her you love her and prove your love by active involvement in her expanding life. Fathers, look each day for tasks or works that your daughter has done and let her know what a great job she did. She will live higher on that compliment than a day's worth of food.

Hold on loosely but don't let her go

All fathers admit difficulties in understanding their precious girl whose hormones have kicked in. After all, no man would claim (at least in front of a woman) that they understand women. So why should they be mystified about not understanding their daughter who is turning into a young woman? Fathers must start looking to have their daughter's wings spread as soon as possible. For example, I have a telescope that is very important to me. I would not let my daughter touch it 'till she turned four. Then I let her play with the controls if I was present and watching. By the time she turns 8 or so, I believe she will be able to use it without supervision. Even better I hope she will use it outside when she is twelve.

A great deal of father and daughter disputes arise when fathers unknowingly hold on so tightly to protect their children from harm, that the children crave freedom to the point of rebellion. Fathers, have you ever thought about extending the curfew for your daughter by a half an hour per year or two. Otherwise, disputes over the 10:00 curfew will escalate until the (unacceptable, in the daughter's eyes) 10:30 comprise is reached only to be broken by an hour anyway. Dads must let their trust be known to their daughters. Don't be afraid for them to make mistakes, but don't be afraid to let them know that you fear for their well being. If you have this outlook, you can tell them you trust them to grow and decide things for themselves. The hardest thing any father can say is, 'I am no longer in complete control of my child.' However, it is better to let go in small increments than to face defiance and have them rip control away in fits of rebellion.

Remember to hold on loosely, and you will never have to fully let go, because daughters who know their fathers trust them will never be far from their daddy's hearts. Fathers, do not drive daughters away with an angry yet yearning heart, for the consequences may be very high for both you and your daughter. Let love and trust be a mantle piece over the doorway to your soul, always being the adored daddy by your little girl.

- Andy Weeks

Her Daddy's Love

Daddy you're the man in your little girl's dreams
You are the one, that she longs to please
and there's a place in her heart, that can only be filled
with her Daddy's love

But if you don't give her the love she desires
She will try someone but they won't satisfy her
If your little girl rose up without your Daddy's love
She may feel empty and it's only because

Her Daddy's love that she's looking for
Don't send her away to another man's door
Nobody else can do what you do
She just needs her Daddy's love

And someday if you hear that here purity is gone
She may have lost it trying to find
What she was missing at home
Let the heavenly father heal where you fail
He can forgive you and help you
Give her Daddy's love that she's looking for

Don't send her away to another man's door
Nobody else can do what you do
She just needs her Daddy's love

Lyrics & music written by Stephen Curtis Chapman
© 1995 Stephen Crutis Chapman

© 2006 Christian Millennial Fellowship

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